I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
