Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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