i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize