my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You took a bar mat shot.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
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