if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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