You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
