someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
