Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
no you cant smoke seaweed
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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