Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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