and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
