And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
