I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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