I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize