Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
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I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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