In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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