The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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