so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
