Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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