remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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