we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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