My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
