this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
