I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
