Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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