I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
