There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
