Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
