The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
