The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
