it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
