i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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