I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
