Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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