the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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