I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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