She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
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it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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