very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
