i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
