so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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