what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
