We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
