going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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