She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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