My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
soo... how was my night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
