I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
