hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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