My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize