i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
