my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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