So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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