I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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