RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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