doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
