I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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