tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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