This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
