My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
