he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You dont lie about slip and slides
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize