Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
