we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my sisters under your porch take her home
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
