she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
