Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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