i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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