bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
