Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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