i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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